i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
