I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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