Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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