I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
