Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
