there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize