For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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