idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
