you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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