Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
