therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
