fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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