youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
