Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
