i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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