How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
