I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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