You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
this is an emotional support booty call
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
