How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
