I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
