Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
