If i come over, it means nothing
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
