Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
operation have a gay friend backfired
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
