So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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