I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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