we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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