If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
