I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
