McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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