forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
