i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize