Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
