I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
