i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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