No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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