Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
