I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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