i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
