I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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