Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
