Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
