Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
