i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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