If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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