this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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