Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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