and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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