Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
