physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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