ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
