I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
