I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
