six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
