so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
