I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
